Words from the Rising Republics

June 19, 2017

On Mon, Jun 19, 2017 at 7:55 AM, Tom O'Dell < This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it "> wrote:

Experts have found the following analysis of newspapers to be nearly
100% accurate:
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand The New York Times.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country, if they could find the time and if they didn't have to
leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a
seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running
the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.
9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people who are in prison, who used
to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their
constituents who are currently free on bail.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another
country, but need the baseball scores.
11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if
there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those
who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy,
provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.
13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a
fish and need something to wrap it in.

THANK YOU JERRY WALKER

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